Saturday, January 21, 2012

Difficult Mothers

Difficult mothers come in all types. Some mothers tragically abandon/reject their child. Others stay high on drugs, or get drunk frequently, or live immorally with a parade of men through their bedroom.

Some mothers are the perpetual enabler, the heartless steamroller, or the passive doormat. Maybe she tragically does  little to nothing to protect her own children from the secret abuse under her own roof.Years after the fact, I discovered that one of my aunts fit that category. It was heartbreaking. 

With difficult or challenging mothers, what does one do? When is it okay to stand up against her sinful behavior or choices? How does one enforce stronger boundaries with her?

In 2 Chronicles 15:16, King Asa, one of the kings of Judah, had a difficult mother. Her name was Maacah. She erected a statue of the detestable pagan goddess Asherah. This encouraged the nation of Israel to debased behavior of every kind in the pattern of the Canaanite culture where lust and murder were glamorized. In shameless misuse of her position, this statue was one of the things that polluted and corrupted the people, leading them into a pit of sin, including worshiping this pagan statue instead of worshiping the only true God. 

Since her son was king, Maacah became the queen mother. Thankfully, Asa was not only king, but a man who "did good and right in the sight of the Lord." This included courageously standing up to his mother. Asa removed his mother from the position of queen mother because Maacah had made the disgusting Asherah. He cut down the statue, crushed it and burned it.

We can learn from Asa, his heart for God, and how he stood against wrongdoing and sin even when it came from his own mother. 

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P.S. I also recommend the book, The Mom Factor - Dealing with the Mother You Had, Didn't Have, or Still Content With by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.

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