This week I walked in the local mall for some exercise. It becomes a good place for indoor exercise to escape the cold of winter. That's when I saw this little boy. I'll call him Mark.
The mall was not crowded, so it was easy to spot Mark, about 5 years old. He sat on the tile floor in front of a high-end jewelry store's glass counter. His coat still on, he was alone and engrossed in what I'm fairly sure was an Ipod. The Ipod was plugged into a nearby socket. I watched him for a few minutes. Curly-haired Mark was quiet and never looked up.
Immediately I was sad, and mad. Now I realize I had no idea what Mark's situation was nor all that was going on. But what is a 5-year old doing sitting alone and watching something on a screen? My next thought is, where is the adult who is supposed to be looking after young Mark? Hopefully she was nearby.
Can we please take back childhood for our kids? Five year-olds do not need mom's Ipod. One might think that there are fine educational Ipod applications or kid-movies that are suitable for Mark. Maybe, but digital apps and programs should not be primary babysitters. They engage a child only so far, and they fail to develop a child's true imagination, thinking processes, or sensory development because many apps do it for them.
Kids will thrive with a few good ole fashioned toys, coloring books, etc. that help them complete a simple task or spur them to create their own make-believe play. When a group of kids came with their parents to our house a while ago, they discovered my bucket of animals on a stick. The kids immediately grabbed them and began playing, making up conversations between them, laughing and enjoying themselves. It was wonderful.
And most of all, five-year olds need parents or caretakers who are there for them, teaching, nurturing and giving them a non-electronic toy. They don't need someone who leaves them sitting by themselves on the floor of a mall with some gadget plugged into a wall.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Difficult Mothers
Difficult mothers come in all types. Some mothers tragically abandon/reject their child. Others stay high on drugs, or get drunk frequently, or live immorally with a parade of men through their bedroom.
Some mothers are the perpetual enabler, the heartless steamroller, or the passive doormat. Maybe she tragically does little to nothing to protect her own children from the secret abuse under her own roof.Years after the fact, I discovered that one of my aunts fit that category. It was heartbreaking.
With difficult or challenging mothers, what does one do? When is it okay to stand up against her sinful behavior or choices? How does one enforce stronger boundaries with her?
In 2 Chronicles 15:16, King Asa, one of the kings of Judah, had a difficult mother. Her name was Maacah. She erected a statue of the detestable pagan goddess Asherah. This encouraged the nation of Israel to debased behavior of every kind in the pattern of the Canaanite culture where lust and murder were glamorized. In shameless misuse of her position, this statue was one of the things that polluted and corrupted the people, leading them into a pit of sin, including worshiping this pagan statue instead of worshiping the only true God.
Since her son was king, Maacah became the queen mother. Thankfully, Asa was not only king, but a man who "did good and right in the sight of the Lord." This included courageously standing up to his mother. Asa removed his mother from the position of queen mother because Maacah had made the disgusting Asherah. He cut down the statue, crushed it and burned it.
We can learn from Asa, his heart for God, and how he stood against wrongdoing and sin even when it came from his own mother.
P.S. I also recommend the book, The Mom Factor - Dealing with the Mother You Had, Didn't Have, or Still Content With by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.
Some mothers are the perpetual enabler, the heartless steamroller, or the passive doormat. Maybe she tragically does little to nothing to protect her own children from the secret abuse under her own roof.Years after the fact, I discovered that one of my aunts fit that category. It was heartbreaking.
With difficult or challenging mothers, what does one do? When is it okay to stand up against her sinful behavior or choices? How does one enforce stronger boundaries with her?
In 2 Chronicles 15:16, King Asa, one of the kings of Judah, had a difficult mother. Her name was Maacah. She erected a statue of the detestable pagan goddess Asherah. This encouraged the nation of Israel to debased behavior of every kind in the pattern of the Canaanite culture where lust and murder were glamorized. In shameless misuse of her position, this statue was one of the things that polluted and corrupted the people, leading them into a pit of sin, including worshiping this pagan statue instead of worshiping the only true God.
Since her son was king, Maacah became the queen mother. Thankfully, Asa was not only king, but a man who "did good and right in the sight of the Lord." This included courageously standing up to his mother. Asa removed his mother from the position of queen mother because Maacah had made the disgusting Asherah. He cut down the statue, crushed it and burned it.
We can learn from Asa, his heart for God, and how he stood against wrongdoing and sin even when it came from his own mother.
* * *
P.S. I also recommend the book, The Mom Factor - Dealing with the Mother You Had, Didn't Have, or Still Content With by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.
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