Women Who Love Too Much

A friend, whom I’ll call Ruth, told me of some drama with “Ed,” a man who seemed charismatic and charming. Ed was a peer. Ruth is single, over 50, walking with the Lord, and a compassionate, nurturing type. Friends had introduced them.

This charmer had a fun side.  Ed started to go to church with Ruth. They spent time together as well as had several phone calls and texts. Ed said he had recently accepted Jesus. Ruth was delighted. And she wanted to help him. But it did not take long before Ruth noticed some odd things.

Turns out, Ed was doing drugs. And he tried to get Ruth to as well. That was the final red flag that caused Ruth to end it with him. Another male friend had to take Ed aside and tell him in no uncertain terms that he was to leave Ruth alone – no calling, no texting, no visiting, nothing.

As Ruth and I talked, I shared with her something I had learned years ago. For too long when I was single, I often attracted needy men, or the wrong type of men, like the charmers. Because I too was compassionate and nurturing. And it took me a while to realize that I gave too much of my time, attention, and caring to some men who really gave little of substance back to me. In that respect, I was a woman who “loved too much.” Sometimes we do these things because we are lonely, and sometimes we think “something” feels better than “nothing” in terms of a man’s interest.  

Then, as if awakening from a long sleep spell cast on me, I finally realized something. I do not have to be the one to give these types of men attention, a listening ear for hours, my time, or significant parts of who I am! God has provided plenty of mature men in the Body of Christ who can and should help these men be men. I don’t have to. Nor should I give precious parts of my heart and time to such men who cannot appreciate it, nor are they able to give back in healthy and God-honoring ways. For any woman who “loves too much,” or may be “co-dependent” like I was, that is no small realization. And it is quite freeing.

Titus 2:6-8 urges men to help younger men to be sensible, an example of good deeds with purity in doctrine, dignified, and sound in speech which is beyond reproach. No matter his age, there is always an older man who can help another man grow and learn to be a Christ-honoring man. Ladies, consider that you may need to stop "loving too much" and let men help men be men.

She Who Changed America ... for Worse (Part 2)

The atheist Madalyn Murray O’Hair was the driving force behind the unfortunate Supreme Court decision to ban prayer from public school in 1963.

How tragic, because Madalyn was so very un-American. She was vile, filled with rage, immoral …and perverted.

When someone like Madalyn believes there is no God, then there is no right and wrong. No morality. This profanity-laced woman had sexually explicit statues around her home. That turns my stomach. Her son said she worshiped these statues.

Although we may never stoop to something so appalling, let us beware and take heed. There is almost always a link between sexually explicit things and dishonoring, violent behavior. God continually warns against such debased, detestable things and practices throughout the Old Testament for good reason.

Instead, Psalm 101:3 teaches us the path of life, “I will set before my eyes no vile thing.”

And Luke 6:45 teaches, “The good  man (or woman) brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.”

We must renounce, get rid of, and work to steer away from all things impure or immoral. This step begins clearing out the muck. In 1 Peter 1:15, God calls us to holiness, “But like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior.”

There is no middle ground here for those who want to walk in the glorious promise of Matthew 5:8, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God (emphasis added).”

Another crucial step is to put on the new self in Christ. Mainly, we do this by feeding ourselves continually with the pure Word of God. It cleanses and renews our minds.

God call us to be radical about living in purity. In every nook and cranny of our heart and life. Moral purity—the bedrock of holiness—fans the flame of true joy, peace, freedom, and rich relationships in the Holy One who redeemed and called you.

Source:  My Life Without God – New Expanded Version – William J Murray

She Who Changed America ...for Worse (Part 1)

You may know the name Madalyn Murray O’Hair. She was the driving force behind the eventual Supreme Court decision to ban prayer from public school in 1963.

But what you may not know is how vile and un-American she was. This, then, begs the question: How could America have allowed a patently hateful and self-serving woman to get such a verdict? And what in the world happened to make her so nasty and abusive? This atheist woman profanely bad-mouthed America, railed against capitalists and continually sided with Communists! She even renounced her American citizenship as she packed up her young children and tried to move to Communist Russia! ... all the while living off the freedom and benefits that America offered.

Dig into the person of Madalyn and one discovers she was violent, vile, perverse, and a liar. Filled with rage and contempt, she dominated, controlled and berated others for her own ends. She abused her own unwanted children and often used them as puppets for her schemes. Her home was one of almost constant rage and violence. And while I find Madalyn’s character, behavior and choices detestable, I discovered some core issues that deeply shaped her early on. Very sad and significant ones.

Madalyn’s parents were quite the pair too. Her dad did a lot of illegal or ill-advised things. Her mother read Tarot cards. And Madalyn's parents had little desire or love for having any children of their own. Sadly, when Madalyn’s mother was several months pregnant with Madalyn, she jumped from a second-floor window of the family home to try and abort baby Madalyn. However, both survived.

The fact that Madalyn’s mother would even relay this story to her daughter reveals a calloused insensitivity that ran deep in the family. This and other painful realities of early rejection by her parents must have deeply hurt Madalyn.

How different might things have been for Madalyn, for her children, and for Americans had Madalyn not been rejected, but wanted as a child?  Or if she would have found her pain's balm through the cross of Christ?

Source:  My Life Without God – New Expanded Version – William J Murray